12 Dec “Keep your Disgusting baby or I will stamp on the fucker.”
On Sunday 11th March 2018, Ivy Tham 22-year-old single mother from South London, discovered she was pregnant with her 1-year old daughter Yasmin and “Everything went downhill.” During an interview Ivy explained, “The man I was in love with died right in front of my eyes as soon as he knew about my pregnancy.”
Ivy Tham’s ex-partner Lak insisted Ivy scheduled for an abortion right away after finding out about her pregnancy. Being Buddhist and against abortion Ivy knew it wasn’t possible to follow through with an abortion.
“I gave Lak the option to walk away, leave me, and continue living his life as I didn’t want him feeling responsible for anything.” Nevertheless, Lak insisted that he wanted to “be there” for Ivy and his daughter. Regardless of all the psychological and emotional abuse Ivy endured, she decided that she did not want to deprive Lak or her daughter from maintaining a relationship with one another, and Lak’s pleading made her even more desperate to see whether the man she was so deeply in love with was still alive.
Ivy explains, “I was put through hell” after taking Lak back into her life, as she was forced to tolerate daily verbal and mental abuse as well as having to accept that she wasn’t the only woman Lak was dealing with romantically. She says, “I only accepted his behavior because I wanted to give my daughter the privilege of having both parents because I know how it feels to not have both my mum and dad together.”
“My worst memory of an argument we had, although we’ve had many, is when he told me keep your disgusting baby and don’t bring it near me or my family, and that if you do, I will stamp on the fucker”. Ivy admits her biggest regret is convincing herself that all the verbal abuse she received was just an emotional outburst of anger, and that she should forget it.
Ivy has finally spoken out about Lak who had organized and carried out several attempts to make sure she had a miscarriage. One of Lak’s most consistent method to destroy Ivy’s pregnancy was spiking her food and drink – feeding her poison until one day Ivy lost total control over her body and passed out. Failing to get rid of the baby, Lak resulted in a more violent form against Ivy when she was 6 months pregnant. Lak had paid his friends to act as thieves who broke into their car while Ivy and Lack made a stop on their late-night drive. The men continued to violently kick and taser Ivy aiming only at her stomach. “I instantly knew it was a setup and focused on protecting my stomach, so most of the damage was on my chest, arms, and face.”
Even after Ivy offered the men her purse, phone and money they seemed only to care about hurting her stomach, while Lak remained untouched and un-threatened. The items that were taken from Ivy that night were later located in Lak’s apartment by the Police. While Lak is currently under investigation, Ivy is extremely happy and blessed to have survived such a traumatic period during her pregnancy. Her advice for pregnant women dealing with an abusive partner is to protect their baby by walking away and to seek immediate help from anyone- friends, family or professionals.
