13 May Digital Romance
Intro –
I chose to apply to the Student Publication Association Awards, for the Best Feature piece. The award is for a longer, magazine-style piece, about a specific area or focus. The piece must flow, have structure, cause an impact and show passion whilst telling a story. The piece must be one story and a supporting statement of 300 words. My piece is 1300 words on Digital Romance. My piece goes in-depth on online dating, showing how technology has changed the way we date for the good and the bad. It also includes one 2 minute audio piece. As the deadline is closed, I can submit this for the next years opening.
Digital Romance –
Over 30 years ago came the internet, and today it has connected us in ways we would have never once imagined, with that came the exciting world of digital dating, it still feels entirely new to many, although you can trace the early emergence of online dating all the way back to the late 1990s.
Today, the digital dating world has changed beyond all recognition; they have changed the way we meet and the way we date. Thousands of marriages worldwide have taken place off the back of relationships that started in the digital landscape. For years online dating carried a bad stigma, aimed at those “desperate types”, many of the barriers associated are now no longer. In fact, online dating has become so popular that even celebrities are openly admitting to using them. But why is everyone suddenly so hooked on online dating? It’s not as if celebrities or the majority of younger people have had a hard time finding love historically.
A recent study from Stanford University shows that in 2017 around 40% of American heterosexual couples first met online. It’s revolutionised how we find love and has opened up a world of opportunity. With so many potentially perfect matches out there waiting to be discovered, digital dating is the now the norm.
The concept of creating a profile to gain love interest goes back to the 1700s with the ‘Lonely Heart Ad’s’ appearing in local newspapers; people would post brief descriptions stating what they prefer in a partner and their own key traits. It was the launch of Match.com back in 1996 that took this concept and first put the world of digital dating at the forefront of people’s minds.
Back then, Match was a set of rudimentary online messaging tools which gave you a platform to interact with other profiles who had signed up to the website.
Today, the technology has moved on significantly, as has the opportunities which online dating presence. Perhaps the most significant advantage of using a digital platform to meet the person of your dreams is that it brings a massive amount of choice.
No longer are people limited to those who they meet in-person at local parties, bars or through friends of friends. Taking dating online allows you to search for precisely the type of people you want to meet; that may be influenced by interest, looks, career, personality, ethnicity or location, and much more besides.
In-line with the world in which we now live, digital dating has sped things up to levels we could perhaps never have before imagined possible. In a single day or night, you could have potentially had conversations with several different prospective partners who you consider to be your type.
However, there can be a couple of drawbacks to using digital dating websites when you’re looking for love. I met with Saffron Burdett; I was surprised that someone so attractive was having a hard time finding love. “There could be a guy I am really into, we have great conversation and a lot in common, then each day new profiles come online, and I also like the look of those, you get talking to them, and all of sudden the conversation with the first guy has died out. There’s so much choice; I would say too much choice!
Saffron’s problem fits right into the choice overload theory, also known as the paradox of choice. You would think, more options and more choices that would be great, but in fact, having more choice creates more problems. It turns out people that have far more options, often don’t experience happiness. Firstly they have a tough time figuring out who is the best for them and which choice to make and secondly once choosing while having lots of other options, you start to regret the decisions that you didn’t make. It’s like figuring out what Netflix series to start, and we all know how hard of a choice that is.
Another challenge can be honesty. It’s not, fundamentally, a problem with online dating itself, but more that it gives users who wish to do so an opportunity to hide who they really are or perhaps present a different version of themselves.
I am an avid dating app user myself, there I said it. I like having full control of how others perceive me; I can give as much or as little away as I want on my profile and of course, display my best pictures. I think all online daters are guilty of this. However, showing your best side in a profile photo is very different from using someone else’s picture or in Maddies case a picture that’s 30 years out of date.
23-year-old Maddie Newman has first-hand experience when it comes to meeting someone online that turns out to be someone completely different in real life. Her story is somewhat amusing but reflects what is happening to many online daters every day.
It’s not just Maddie who feels fed up with online dating, in a recent Bloomberg report, Author Nichi Hodgson says “Lot’s of people anecdotally are saying they’re fed up of using dating apps, but at the same time business is absolutely booming. The number of users between 2016-2017 in the world has doubled. Even though there’s on the horizon the possibility of video dating and augmented reality for dating, none of those things can give you an indication of chemistry and you can only find that out when you meet someone face to face. That’s still going to be overriding the way in which people meet and fall in love.”
Most dating apps are challenging this theory and believe they can build superior matches through algorithms. Some apps are so heavily focussed on using computer algorithms to find your matches that you will not be able to view or access the profiles of many people that do not meet the criteria. Users will sometimes find themselves editing their profiles and other attributes to try and conquer the algorithm and meet other people. But can tech really find your soul mate?
Matt has been single for over four years now and has put his trust and a hefty sum of money into a handful of dating apps branding themselves on building quality connections. “I cannot seem to beat the algorithm, I would say I am a decent looking guy, I fill my profile out the best I can, and still, I hardly get any matches. I could swipe right for 20 minutes straight and only match with a handful of women. It does take a toll on you, in ways knocking my confidence. In a bar I could woo a woman over with my personality or charm; however on dating apps, they don’t get to see this, people judge each other solely off of a few pictures.”
Further, into the report, Nichi Hodgson says “Dating apps are notoriously private about the algorithms that they use, that’s because they use quite simple ones and they don’t have very much proof of any of them leads to better matching. They don’t want people to find love on the first hit, because then they’d all be out of business.” In a Global Dating Insights report earlier this year Mark Kelley, an analyst from Mamura Instinet concluded that the online dating market could grow to be worth $12 billion by 2020.
Is online dating working for you? I have met some great people and also some people I really did not connect with, but that’s just life. Dating online has given me the confidence to start conversations. I would never do that in person, the fear of rejection is real! Even though there are so many downfalls to online dating. For me, I will not be hanging up my online dating shoes anytime soon, its a relationship I love to hate!
Supporting Statement –
Over three years ago I moved to London to study Journalism at Southbank University, even though London is such a big place I found it incredibly lonely. I turned to dating apps to meet new people; this slowly turned into an addiction, I found myself swiping for hours on end. I realised quickly that it was the technology behind these apps that had me addicted; it was almost like a game. Fast forward a few years this addiction has led me to build and create my very own dating app alongside my degree. Doing this has allowed me to get hands-on with the tech side of online dating but also to produce a weekly blog and medium posts for the app.
The fast-growing technology behind online dating truly fascinates me, combined with my passion for writing this seemed like a perfect feature piece for me. With so many people using online dating to find connections I was interested in hearing other people experiences, whether that be good or bad, I wanted to know, people who were completely different from me!
Online dating is such a huge part of peoples everyday life, according to E-Harmony recent study, 40% of all Americans use online dating. I felt this was a topic in the public interest. The piece ranges from an interview with someone who has too much choice when it comes to online dating to someone who finds it difficult to get any matches at all, many people reading this who online dates will be able to relate in one way or another.
