13 May Are adoptees more likely to suffer from mental health issues and depression?
An investigation into if being adopted can be directly linked to the cause of mental health issues/ depression in adoptee individuals.
Crying, confused child. This picture was taken from Pexels, copyright free.
Remember that story of your mother telling you the first time she held you in her arms when you were born and how she never thought something could look so cute crying? Or the picture of your grandmother looking exactly like you when she was 15 years old, too? Or how about knowing the reason for your newborn being ginger is because it runs in your family’s DNA?
These are all answers many adoptees may never get and it is some of the causes for developed mental health issues.
“I have suffered from depression since I was 19. I think it stemmed from being adopted.” – Wendy Reed
When the topic of adoption comes to mind, is your initial thought about the joys and positives of adoption, rather than the loss and trauma experienced? If so, read on.
In the UK, roughly 5,500 children are adopted annually according to the charity, Adoption Support Fund, and 3/4 of them suffer from mental health issues experienced later on In life. In comparison, in accordance with, ‘Mind: for better mental health,’ 1/4 non-adoptees will experience some kind of mental health-related issues in the UK.
Everyone deserves a home and for those who are lucky enough to get born into a good one, be aware that it is not always the case for every individual. This is why despite the wonderful news when a child does get adopted after being rejected by their birth parents for whatever reason, (as going through the care system is the worst possible case scenario for a number of reasons) adoptees are often confronted with issues that non-adoptees are less likely to experience such as abandonment issues, identity/ personality issues, attachment or codependency issues and the list continues.
Adoption trauma is an issue that must begin to be taken seriously. According to a study by the University of Minnesota, adoptees are four times more likely to experience mental health issues, depression and attempt suicide than non-adoptees due to trauma in their early childhood. A subject that is rarely discussed in our society.
53-year-old Wendy Reed from Northumberland, United Kingdom, is one of the thousands of adoptee individuals in the UK to be affected by either mental health issues, depression, identity issues, separation disorder or increased likeliness to abuse drugs.
After only five days being born, Wendy was forced to part ways from her birth mother and family directly from the hospital, put into a foster home and within 9 months old was adopted into a new family. Similarly to many adoptee individuals, the cause for this adopted was due to her birth parents not being seen ‘fit’ to parent. However, regardless of the reasoning for being adopted, the chances of this affecting an adoptee’s mental health later on in life is high.
But how, right? You may think that they should feel happy to be adopted. Grateful that they get a new chance at life and maybe a family who love them! Yes, this may true as some individuals will never get that chance, however, the internal reality of adoption can be much deeper than you may realise. Who am I? Where do I come from? Why me? These are questions that are often left unanswered for adoptees, which is a common sign of abandonment issues.
Being adopted is the final solution when all alternative courses of action to achieve safety and stability for that child have been exhausted. Speaking with Wendy Reed and a few other adoptees indicates that adoption actually heavily impacts their day to day living in such a manner that non-adoptees could only ever imagine.
“I have suffered from depression since I was 19. I think it stemmed from being adopted and feeling the rejection of my birth mother. I felt like somehow it was my fault she didn’t want me, which made me feel like I was never good enough” Wendy Reed explained.
“I have had counselling on a number of occasions and have been on various antidepressants for most of the last 34 years,” she continues.
Many signs of mental health issues such as grief, guilt, attachment and identity issues, may not be present until adolescent years, growth development physically and/ or mentally, according to the NHS.
Adoptees may experience grief usually in two ways: the loss (not necessarily death) over birth parents/ family connections and or the loss of their culture. For example, a Jamaican baby adopted into a white caucasian family who has little to no knowledge of that specific culture to educate their adoptive child on can leave them with that sense of grief (loss of culture) which can heavily relate to deeper mental issues and/ or depression.
“It was difficult as a teenager as I couldn’t understand how anyone could give up their child and thought there was something wrong with me. I was told she [birth mother] was a nasty woman, so I always felt that I must be bad too,” said Wendy.
“Not knowing who I took after both physically and with character traits, I always felt like I’m never in the right place and I have no idea of my medical history.”
Unfortunately, Wendy Reed is not the only one, as many adoptees are affected on a daily basis. 60-year-old Mary Scully who resides in Newfoundland, Canada also states that she was adopted at a young age and has experienced adoption trauma which is the root to the mental health issues experienced in her life.
“My personal view is that the intense distress experienced by my birth mother was transmitted to me and so I consider that I have experienced severe inter general trauma and have a deep-rooted fear of rejection,” expressed Mary Scully.
“The factors [unwished to be disclosed due to sensitive matters] which caused my biological mother to give up her children triggered mental problems for me and my sister,” she continues.
Non-adoptees get born into a family, know what their parents look like, are aware of where their grandparents were born and have knowledge of their medical history and genetics. These are elements in life that adoptees may never get to experience, which undoubtedly causes identity issues in those individuals.
Roly Hunter, 27, a certified social worker living in Finchley who also works on a child protection team in Tower Hamlets stated, “I think it’s important to acknowledge that the process of removing a child from their birth family (ultimately finding them an adoptive family) can be very difficult for that child and in my experience should only be done in the most extreme circumstances, and as a last resort.”
“Adoptee children may have very difficult lived experiences prior to their adoption, which could impact their future well-being and mental health. People’s family history and close family relationships contribute to their sense of self and their understanding of their context. Adoptees will likely not have these connections to their biological family, which I have seen to be difficult to live with.”
Roly Hunter then goes on to explain that having “gaps” in a persons life can be very disconnecting and is highly likely to contribute to later emotional difficulties and or mental health issues. The only way to help an adoptee accept this would be counselling- if ties with the birth family are unknown or not present.
Everyone goes through different experiences in life and no two are the exact same. Unfortunately, some adoptees may never know what it truly feels like to ever feel love and warmth from their birth parents. Or even feel like they are home or know where they truly come from. These are all major factors that can cause mental issues experienced later on in life: the fear of rejection, again. A coping mechanism sometimes includes building emotional barriers in hoped to never get neglected or abandoned a second, third, fourth time.
James Bayliss from Leister, United Kingdom said, “I think my adoption has made me less confident in terms of relationships. I find it hard to connect with people and in romantic relationships, I find it hard to commit and that I drift emotionally as I have a fear and get anxious about doing or saying something wrong, that all my relationships will end.”
Adoptees usually do not get a say in their adoption, often due to being young children at the time. It is impossible to tell whether the outcome of adoption will be successful or not, but when it’s not, it may leave adoptees with the unanswerable questions; What if? What if my birth mother wanted me? What if I stayed in foster care my whole life? Who am I? Where did I come from? In adoption, these doubtful, rhetorical questions can all be direct causes for the mental health issues experienced in adoptees. Can you answer who, what, why, where, when, how?
We are all trying to find our place in this world in one shape or form and remember that there are always two sides to every story and situation. Adoption will always be around, and every individual will respond differently, however, long-term mental health support should always be available to adoptees to help them with potential issues in their future lives.
